” I wanna start with your mama; she shoulda whooped your ass!”
I want to first start by saying (in my Summer Walker voice), ” I wanna start with your mama; she shoulda whooped your ass!” You came in the door and should have sat down, but you didn’t because clearly, you don’t have any home training. As I pen this letter and look back on the last year, I can honestly say that I wasn’t even thinking that things would turn out the way they did, but whelp, here we are!
2021 brought in a lot of turmoil, heartache, and most of all, lessons learned. The disruption was unexpected, and it started and ended with me. So many signs and red flags, and I blatantly ignored them all. My heart took control of every move I made, good and bad. I didn’t know if I was coming or going some days. I couldn’t go an entire day without crying, and I was running myself ragged just trying to please others.
I settled on my dealbreakers, and I lost sight of my worth. I was lost and broken. I saw the inside of my room more than anything because I was just in a space where I didn’t want to come out. I was too sad to face others that were happy in their lives. I didn’t want to be that sad face amid everyone’s good time. I was in a hole I didn’t know how to climb out of. Imagine that. Imagine losing your passion for life; what a hard pill to swallow.
As much as I wanted to blame someone else, I couldn’t because I had the signs, but the thought of what I wanted love to be blinded me and jarred my sense of reality. I had blinders on and didn’t want to take them off. Not until they were snatched off, and things went from ok to worse.
2021 took a lot away from me, but it opened my eyes to the problem, and that was me. I was the one who knew better. I was the one that was aware. I was the one that settled and compromised on my dealbreakers. I was the one that needed the healing.
So now, as I walk away from 2021 and into 2022, I say hello!
Hello to a better version of Mo’.
Hello to a healed version of Monique (which includes things my childhood and past)
Hello to self-worth.
Hello to being ok with how things have turned out.
Hello to new beginnings.
Hello to loving me first.
Hello, to understand that it’s ok to walk away from people you love.
Hello to realizing healing and understanding don’t always mean reconciliation.
Hello to a healthier lifestyle.
Hello to boundaries.
Hello to peace and hello to Me.
Monique, you are unique, you are smart, you are beautiful, and you got this!
2022 I’m on your ass!