Sometimes it takes a while before you truly know what you desire and deserve from a man or woman. It takes a couple of bad decisions, broken hearts, a few tears and even a few setbacks, but at some point you just get it.

At 35, I can proudly say I get it. I understand what my heart desires. Those desires include honesty, loyalty, and commitment. Honesty doesn’t just mean being honest with me but also fair to himself. We hold our significant others to such high standards sometimes that they aren’t genuinely honest with themselves and too afraid to tell us. Loyalty is in all of us. The biggest decision we all make is with whom we want to be loyal. Commitments are hard mainly because temptation is all around us, yes the flesh is weak, but I always ask, “How bad do you want it?”

Once you fully understand what you desire you have to put that into action. Require the things you want. Throughout the years that I have been dating, I always heard that men/women will treat you how you allow them because you don’t require what you desire from them. To this day that remains true. I now require things entirely different than I did before. Before if he had a job, was slightly spiritual, loyal and honest it was a go. Oh but now that I’m real grown lol I demand that a man is a man at all times and when that gets too hard or he needs me to step in I’ll do just that. Because even tho I want him to to be a man all times sometimes that’s just not possible. I require that even in my absence he respects me. Because we all know the streets stay watching, and people love to come back and tell you what they say when they don’t even know the circumstance. I require that he love me with his whole heart and if that’s impossible or hard to do he let me know. Hell cause I know I’m difficult to love but are you up for the challenge?