Today I sat at my desk and watched a man propose to his girlfriend. It was the sweetest surprise for her. It was staged as a photo shoot for her upcoming graduation that turned into a moment that will last a lifetime for the couple. Nothing but tears from the gentleman and his future wife, hell even I was teary eyed. I even watched a dear friend break the internet this week with her bundle of joy announcement. Nothing fancy just a subtle slay! It’s moments like this that I live for on social media! These precious moments are truly what we should see more of, celebratory times, graduations, promotions, birthdays, etc. But do you find yourself looking at someone’s happy moments and asking why not me? Or wish it was you in their shoes? Of course, we all have a time or two, but I’m here to tell you everybody’s happy ain’t your happy.
We all have these fairy tale dreams and thoughts of how we want things to fall in place in our lives. We all want to meet the man or woman of our dreams become head over heels in love and meet each other at the alter. But do you know what it takes to be in a fully committed, monogamous relationship? We always want the happy ending but don’t want to put in the work to get there. I know couples that are happily married but have lived in different cities from their significant other, dealt with infidelity, struggled with demons, disagreed on religion, and were financially unstable. Just knowing that ask yourself, could you make it to the happy ending? Are you built for this lifestyle that you gawk over?
We never know anyone’s story, and everyone story isn’t ours. It takes a lot of hard work to be in any relationship, work any job, or even be that great spouse or mom. We are all aware of our limits and what we are capable of handling but along comes that question, “Are you putting in the work?” You can’t expect a happy ending without getting a little dirty. Nothing comes easy. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you’re not putting it what it takes to have someone else’s happy.
Putting in the work comes in different forms. Sometimes we want that happily ever after, but we keep dating and chasing the same (wrong) type of man. We want prince charming, but we seem to think he’s the same person that we’ve been dating for the last ten years, only to find out that we need to change our standards and the things we accept from these men. We want to have three college degrees, but we don’t want to study. We want to be recognized as leaders, but too busy getting in our own way. Hell, we aspire to be entrepreneurs but won’t take the first step to do the research.
We are living in a world where we want the glitz and glamor without the scraps and bruises. I’m sad to tell you that it will never happen that way and until your ready, your happy will never be your own.
I encourage anyone reading this to take some time and write down seven areas in your life that you would like to be happier. Write down what’s working in those areas and what’s not. The things that aren’t working CHANGE THEM. Do a complete 180 in those areas. Take out everything that hasn’t worked and implement new things. Even if it makes you uncomfortable do it! Being uncomfortable makes us move a lot faster. Set short and long term goals where applicable and reward yourself. You will not only change the way you have normally done these things, but you will explore new options and find your happiness!
Good Luck and remember everyone’s happy ain’t your happy!