As a woman I have struggled with the ups and downs of my weight throughout the years. But, as a plus size woman in the dating arena I find myself running across some very shallow men who are comfortable engaging in sexual acts with a plus size woman but not quite comfortable dating them. So that raised the question, “Are Big Girls Datable?”
The dating scene these days is so scarce especially depending on location. Women always outnumber men in most cities which puts the men at an advantage and not the women. Then along with that comes the bigger picture “Preference”. So of course we all have a preference, I’m really into men of the larger caliber, bearded and rugged. I’m truly not picky and those that love me say, “Monique you’re not big”, “You’re a nice size”, or “You carry your weight well”. But even that was fine until a guy told me, “You are the only big girl I talk to”. So I found myself feeling like a last resort or even looked over because of my size.
But men just like women have preference also. But the majority of them are into the Instagram models and women who are of the smaller frame. These are the women that most men are glad to flaunt around and proudly date. So I asked a few of my male friends what their preferences were and why? Some of the answers were the same, someone “Shapely”, Tall, Nice Figure, Pretty Teeth, Long Hair etc. but no one mentioned “A woman with a lil meat on her bones”. So then my next question came up, “Are Big Girls Datable?” Then that’s when things got interesting. I had one guy say that he had an image to uphold and he didn’t think that a plus size woman fit his image. Another male said, “I have had sex with a plus size women but she really wasn’t my type but, we cool”. In addition to all of this another male said, “Not really…. (depending upon the size of course) but only because of the fact that I have to be able to do certain things with my lady and a larger woman would restrict/prohibit some of those things”.
This really kind of hit a soft spot with me. Are men really this shallow? Do they even look at the bigger picture in relationships and with women? These questions we may never know the answers too, but at the end of the day I can’t even be mad. Because if we as women meet men and are aware of the fact that they only want to sleep with us and not date us, we can put an end to that behavior. Sometimes it is hard to pin point what people really want out of relationships but A. Don’t force it and B. Don’t ignore the red flags. A woman of confidence is always the most attractive PERIOD. So coming from a plus size woman, yes we are datable. Hell we set the standard and we come with perks. You will never starve lol and who do men call during those cold winter months??……Yea ok. But to all my plus size females never lose confidence or sight of the bigger picture….YOUR WORTH. If he can’t give you anything meaningful other than sex then let him go and find a man who loves and embraces every roll, every curve and every inch of you. Because men what you don’t like another man will LOVE!
Your Fluffy Plus Size Girl,
“You should feel lucky a nigga WOMAN like me even noticed you.” –Kanye West