kitchen table

In dating and relationships we have so many things that we just want to be perfect if not perfect but very close to it. We all want the picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and a great career. So before all that comes about we have this grand list of expectations or things we would like to have in a partner. Then here comes the grand question, “What do I/they bring to the table?” I’ve sat down and really took at look at myself when this question was put on the table, and I thought, Do I even bring anything to the table?

As a woman I know I have said that I would like to have a partner that is financially stable, has a career or job that they love, a man of God, family oriented,  and adventurous. Sounds pretty realistic right? Yea on TV. The reality of it all is you may get 2 out of those 5 things. But after a conversation with my dad one day I thought hell “What do I bring to the table?” Truth be told no where near half of the things I require or would like to have in a partner. As I woman I learned that yes we look to men to provide because most of us were taught that a man should be able to do two things for you protect and provide for you. But what if you met the perfect guy just for you and he was building his business from the ground up with no help? What if his credit score was 550 or below? What if he had the perfect job, great relationship with his parents and God but did a ten year prison term and was a convicted felon? Are the things you require really deal breakers? If you said yes then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what you bring to the table.

I’ve listened to women have these grand expectations with no job, bad credit, multiple baby daddies, and one step away from government assistance (not that there’s anything wrong with it hell we all need food stamps in my opinion). But you can’t bring your good looks to the table and expect to get the man of your dreams. In 2015 men are looking for women to bring some things to the table too and trust me it ain’t good looks. Some may even say hey I’m getting it together I’m work in progress. Which means hey I’m trying so I deserve a chance. We all do, so why not take that chance? I remember once being offended because a ex of mine (who shall remain nameless) said that he liked me a lot as a person and girlfriend but had a problem with my lack of education or lack of degrees on the wall. I was appalled But I learned that we all want something brought to the table, and what I want my be different but it lies along the same lines.

Moral of the story is sometimes you have to fall in love with the person and not the material aspects of that person. If we spent more time humbling ourselves then we wouldn’t be so concerned with what our partners can do for us. What happened to just taking a chance on love? We should really get back to that. No matter how old you are think about your relationship just solely as your chance for real love. Because if you love that person, you’re motivating them daily, encouraging them and most importantly praying with and for them. So that bad credit they had when you met them has changed because you have motivated them to make changes for your future. That job they hated is irrelevant because they decided because of you their going to chase their dreams.

Tamary Mowry met her husband before he was a successful actor. He had no car or job and she met him at the bus stop. But look at him now! Remember its not about What you bring to the table but the place settings you design for it.